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2026-07-16

X: You are in contact with multiple women you have non-zero interest in. Y: You seem more optimistic about life as a result

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Main

Title should be self-explanatory. Spending time with women, especially with women I like, seems to be one of the few things that still happens to give me some joy in this world.
My mood over past few days how oscillated between maybe 4/10 and 5/10. Hence this is fine, if any of these interests work out, that would be awesome, if they don't work out, also fine I will move on.
The danger comes if I was say at 2/10 in mood, hypothetically. Then if I had interacting with women I'm interested in as the only thing that gives me joy, then this becomes a recipe for unhealthy dependence. (You have many experiences from the far past around this, but not any recent ones, thankfully.)
I don't know, man, since 2024 it is not obvious to me I have truly liked anyone lol. It feels nice to actually like people again.

Practical takeaway - important

Maybe I should join more meetups and hobby groups?
- My hinge profile is still shit so I met most of these people via meetups and hobby groups only.
- Based on previous data, prefer meetups and hobbies with non-terrible gender ratio, where you can eventually play an active not a passive role, and where you enjoy the hobby atleast a little bit (and hence interacting with women is not the only reason you are there).
- Note to Samuel for 2026-07-17 (tomorrow) - Actually go sign up for more meetups / hobby groups. Like art or music or something
- Also maybe learn to shoot? That is a hobby you've been postponing for a long time, but it is useful. Become more dangerous. There is a reason I am working on cyberattack not assassination, but in some edge case / worst case situations (not elaborating here), it cold end up useful to know how to shoot as well.

Side note

When I say I'm more optimistic about life, I do not mean my P(doom) has changed. I mean I am more optimistic that the next few months / years of my life can actually be happy, instead of a miserable grind. And maybe less resentful of society at large (maybe, not sure about this part).
Work feels like a grind. Like, I don't have a magic button I can press and leak all these AI company secrets in next 3 months. It is going to be a long grind. I have to learn to write secure software. I still have a lot of hit and trial left to go there. It is a doable grind, none of this is rocket science, but also, it is not a task where I will see returns quickly.

Side note 2

I am happy I am going back to the X Y format instead of pure theory. I feel tired but also on top of the fucking world, atleast a little bit. Let's fucking go

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