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2026-07-08

Liked an interaction with a girl on the plane. Also some notes on safety

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Main

Liked an interaction with a girl on the plane.
[Rest of notes about this interaction are private.]
Small interactions like this seem to have surprisingly large effects on my overall mood.

Main 2

Also reminds me of this girl who was sleeping in the metro few days back. She looked so peaceful, a bit attractive even. Then she woke up and it was like 24x7 transformation, she suddenly looked quite stressed and bored and just not attractive to me anymore at all.
I wonder if I sometimes come across the same way. Peaceful while asleep but not so much while awake.

Practical takeaway

Maybe a practical takeaway from both of these interactions is something like - when I interact with women (esp. women I might have some interest in), maybe I should consider running a mind sim of "imagine you were actually together with this person and you actually felt safe, how would you interact then?" And strongly prefer running this mind sim based on past interactions (for instance in past relationship) where I have felt safe, as opposed to a projection.
In many interactions I very quickly default to assuming that people around me are threats to the things I care about, at a more subconscious level. I suspect this makes me less attractive. More finegrained ability to switch between both modes (Samuel, the lover, the peaceful person; and Samuel, the warrior) seems useful.

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