2026-07-14
Update
- I now think this post is incorrect.
- The part about "I want people to love/respect me for X, but they instead love/respect me for Y" is true and very important. "Hence I want to use a profile that signals X not a profile that signals Y."
- The part about "I will resent society less if I find someone using an authentic profile" now feels more likely to be false. I will probably resent society if I found someone using an authentic profile, and I will probably also resent society if I found someone using a normie profile, and I will probably resent society the most if another year passes and I haven't found someone using either profile. Your resentment is pretty invariant to outcomes, because it is a judgement about society as a whole. One or two people being different doesn't disprove feelings or hypotheses you have about all of society.
- I will not write an elaborate correction to the post because that would also violate the X Y rule and I want to stick to the X Y rule now.
- I will still stick to the 2026-08-31 deadline because I wanna respect my pre-commitments. But don't live under the delusion that any of this is going to fix your resentment of society, that is all.
2026-07-11
Motivation to keep swiping - If this doesn't work, you might have to be more dishonest
Disclaimer
- personal
- target audience - strictly myself
Main
- Violating the X Y rule to write this post, hope it is important enough to be worth it. Some of the advice is data backed though, idk if that counts.
- Approximately all the advice I have received (and am mostly ignoring) on my hinge profile is in the direction of "make a more normie profile."
- status
- add a group pic - I refuse to add one because I am a solitary person, I am not a group person
- remove any "weird" political ASI-related prompt - I refuse to remove it because this is like 75% of my personality at this point, if someone cannot accept this part of me, they have no place in my life. I am well aware this prompt just pings an alarm bell in the head of average person, they literally do not understand it at all.
- remove mention of unusual stuff like being poly or not being a leftist, mention it later on after meeting - I deliberately mention I am poly but not leftist because only putting poly on the profile caused me to match with many leftist women way back and I realised I was wasting time arguing about politics with them. I now think if there are leftist women radical enough to only date other leftists then they should not match with me, hence I am mentioning it upfront.
- looks - add hotter pics - I am fine with this advice, might do in future if I bother to get pics, I am probably small epsilon more attractive today than my old pics is my guess.
- humour - add a funny prompt - I refuse to follow this because I am not actually a funny person, add prompts that can kickstart interesting conversation - idk, I'm okay with this advice but I prefer dense more important info
- mental health - I have accepted the advice around "don't discuss mental health issues" with random women in early stages. But also, my mental health is actually better now compared to few months back, that is also why I seem more accepting of this advice now. It is actually honest now if I don't bring it up whereas it would have felt dishonest back then.
- Maybe I am doing better now but I am now slightly more tolerant of the "make a normie profile" advice than a few months back.
- It is true in a sense that it is just a profile, it is not me.
- It is true that once I have found someone I like and we're together for a year or two, I am probably not going to care as much about all this. Although I am not sure, I am perfectly capable of holding on to resentment against society for years together.
- I am still mad at society for this. I want to earn society's respect for the things I respect, not the things they respect. It is not like I cannot perform, it is that I refuse to. I am sure if I spent 1 year of full-time effort into "how to appear more normie" I could probably make a fair amount of progress on it. I just refuse to.
Practical takeaway
- Motivation to keep swiping now is that you will be less resentful of society if you find someone using an honest profile like you are using now.
- Otherwise after a few months you will be forced to use a more normie imitative profile. And like, even if that ends up working and I actually find someone, I will probably still hold non-zero resentment for society as a result.
I wish I could be more detached
- Like yes, society is full of braindamaged retards, but this doesn't need to make you angry. Look at the contents of other people's minds with detachment.
- Meeting people atleast twice a week is helping yes. Interacting with non-zero women is helping yes.
- None of this has fixed the core issues though, they just feel less important now maybe, atleast in this momemt. We shall see.
- Side Note - I find it funny that everyone thinks society is fucking stupid but then I look at them and I'm like, you are also part of this set lol. I don't say it to their face ofcourse but still. Everyone wishes they could live in a world of their epsilon-shifted clones maybe, maybe I am not alone in this desire.
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