2026-02-04
Why do humans have sex in private?
Disclaimer
- Thinking aloud. Might not endorse after a lot of thought
Main
- I am fascinated by how neutral the tone of discussion is in this post: Why do humans have sex in private?
- I am inclined to agree with the hypothesis that having sex makes you feel vulnerable, and if you do it in public you are exposed to other people who could be a threat. Not just actual physical threat, and not just threat of a sexual competitor (someone who will try to steal your partner), but someone who might use emotions you express during sex and the information revealed, for their ends instead of yours.
- Why do humans seem to naturally do this sort of onion model thing? Like, I will protect myself from my partner. My partner and I will protect each other from our friend group. Our friend group will protect ourselves from extended network. Our extended network / town / community / whatever, will protect all of us from strangers and enemy groups.
- Atomisation of society definitely has removed some of the onion layers for some people. (Myself included lol, but maybe that'll change.) Now it's just you, then you and your partner, then maaaybe some friends, and then there's a nation state you don't relate to and may as well be your enemy.
- I think I should approach the question with more curiosity instead of trying to ham-fisted nudge myself in the direction of "zero privacy world is fine actually". I don't know, I feel some pressure to have to defend that "zero privacy world is fine" because I've stated that in public to some people.
- I should be willing to admit I'm wrong or that I don't know.
- I think I still weakly lean towards "zero privacy world is fine actually" but don't have a strong opinion. And I should try to investigate this question with more curiosity and less social defensiveness.
- Actual curiosity feels good actually. Being in the zero sum "kill or be killed" mindset might be worse for truth-seeking. The "kill or be killed" mindset is good for motivation, and it's good for actually summoning the courage required to kill your enemies. I don't know. I have to experiment with both mindsets and see.
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