2026-09-07
X: I tried chess tournaments, drums for open mics, massage classes. Y: I loved them for the novelty, but didn't find enough reward to commit
Disclaimer
- personal
- target audience - strictly myself
Main
- Over the last few weeks I have tried playing at FIDE-rated chess tournaments, playing drums at open mic events and attending massage classes.
- For all of them, I found them atleast a little bit fun, atleast at first.
- But this wasn't a sufficient incentive for me to commit to them and continue them long-term.
- For that, I actually need to see a payoff.
- The main payoffs that seem to motivate me nowadays look like things like:
- Dating - Want to put myself in environments where I am more likely to find the person I wanna marry. Also want to put myself in environments where I can improve either my status or my skillset for this goal.
- Combat - Want to prepare for worst case worlds where actual combat is required to fix ASI risk
- Persuasion and psychology - Want to understand psychology deeply, this is instrumentally convergent for many skills be it understanding ASI risk persuasion and turning people to your side, or building long-term marriages and relationships, or even making myself a happier person
- If I can't see atleast one of these payoffs being fulfilled atleast somewhat, I find it hard to commit to something long-term and stay internally motivated enough for it.
- Also, I increasingly don't want dating to be the only reason I am learning a hobby or skill. I want to find someone who is attracted to me for the things I actually like doing, and not some skill I picked up only to impress women. This increasingly leaves only combat and persuasion/psychology as the things that can motivate me long-tern.
- I am a fucking novelty addict lol. This is true across all spheres of my life at this point. Always need to be either visiting new places, or meeting new people, or trying new hobbies, or reading books/blogs about new topics, or similar. Useful information.
- I think a significant part of why I enjoyed these hobbies was just novelty, plus maybe some opportunities to socialise, that's it.
P.S. I still think there is some chance I resume massage classes in the future due to mix of this is fun, plus not completely useless skill, plus can be learned quickly, plus possibly useful for dating idk.
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