2026-10-05
original written in early 2026, consistently making edits since then
Date me
Disclaimer
Table of contents
- About me as a partner
- My photos
- Link to my personal website
- Hobbies, travel, personal experiences
- My outlier personality traits
- About my ideal partner
- Mandatory criteria
- Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria
- Criteria I don't use when filtering people
- Some more notes that may or may not be relevant
- Contact me
- Referral system
About me as a partner
My photos
top 5
more
- This has a lot of information on my personal life, feel free to scroll to what is relevant
Hobbies, travel, personal experiences
Note
- I am open to doing any hobby together, or being introduced to new hobbies. For example, jamming together if you play an instrument, or playing board games, or similar.
- However, I do not want hobbies to compete for my attention to the extent that they distract me from my current life priority. Similarly, I'm currently not that keen on travel for any reason besides work (exceptions may exist).
- I have received feedback from multiple people to emphasise my posts on my hobbies, travel, and on emotional experiences, hence I've placed them here.
Main
- Crossposting from personal website:
- Crossposting all the hobbies links from there:
- Crossposting all the travel links from there:
My outlier personality traits
- See also: My personality test results
- As per Big Five personality test, I am above 90 percentile on Conscientiousness and Openness to Experience.
- As per Ray Dalio personality test, I am above 90 percentile on Creativity, Adventurous, Independence and not Status-seeking.
- As per Ray Dalio personality test, I am 52 percentile Reliable. I think I am most reliable as a support during emergencies but tend to avoid making promises if there is no emergency.
- My guess is I am above 90 percentile honest.
- My guess is I am above 75 percentile IQ.
- My guess is I am above 75 percentile on courage and protectiveness (of a potential partner).
(A lot of the above will become obvious to you if you either browse my website more, or else ask me more questions in person.)
About my ideal partner
I am looking for someone who satisfies following criteria:
Mandatory criteria
Note
- Most of these mandatory criteria are either common sense, or lessons I've learned the hard way.
Mandatory criteria
- You are a (cis) woman in age bracket 18-40. (For reference, I was born in 2001.)
- You are living in, or willing to shift to, or visit weekly, a tier-1 city in India. As of 2026-09, I live in Bangalore.
- I have been living in India my whole life, but might shift cities in future in order to achieve my life goals.
- There is a small (but non-trivial) likelihood that you can successfully persuade me or help me shift if you live in a diferent country.
- Cannot discuss details here for political reasons.
- I ideally want a polyamorous long-term relationship. Otherwise, a short-term relationship
- I ideally don't want a short-term/casual relationship, I want to atleast aim for something long-term. By long-term I mean lasting 10-50 years. Trying and failing (to build a long-term relationship) is perfectly fine, I am aware dating can involve some hit-and-trial, what I do not ideally want is to have my attention be monopolised by someone who isn't even trying in the first place. (Exceptions can exist.)
- Also, I don't want to precommit to having sex with only one person till I die, that just instinctively seems like a terrible idea to me.
- You are intellectually curious
- You are not fat
- You are accepting of my life goals
- Disagreeing with me over my life goals is fine. Not accepting me is not fine.
- I am a capital A Atheist who worships at the altar of technological progress, if done safely. This is more of a religious quest to me, rather than a "career." It gives me a sense of pupose and identity, and is a primary driver behind many of my major life decisions.
- In order to further my life goals, I deeply value the pursuit of Knowledge/Science and Power/Ruthlessness (as opposed to Passion/Freedom, Community/Order or Nature/Harmony/Acceptance). This is from magic the gathering colour wheel.
- I am willing to die for my goals.
- (Mandatory) You accept that I may end up in prison or dead as a result of my work. You accept that there may be an increased risk to you as well, for associating with me frequently.
- I am willing to kill for my goals.
- (Mandatory) You accept me though I will if required use violence or threats of violence to protect myself or people I care about. (This could include protecting you, if and only if you want me to).
- I wish to spend (what might be) the last few years of my life with my attention primarily focussed on my life goals.
- (Mandatory) You don't require meeting me more than once a week. You understand that I have goals I wish to devote time to, and don't see this as competition for my attention.
- If I am put in an adversarial scenario where I am forced to choose between keeping my life goals and keeping my partner, and I cannot keep both, I will choose my life goal. I am hopeful I will never enter a scenario this adversarial, however.
- You are accepting of the fact I may change my core values, worldview and actions in the future.
- You have a significant capabity to accept people even if they make significant changes to their core values, worldview and actions.
- (This is vague and abstract, but I don't know how to make less vague and abstract.)
- You are accepting of the fact I am often unhappy.
- (Update - 2026-09) My mood averaged over the last 3 months has been Average. My mood averaged over the last 12 months has been Below Average.
- I don't necessarily expect you to be a good listener for my problems (although it wouldn't hurt if you did). Often the easiest solution for me is to just spend time alone when I am unhappy, and meet you when I am doing better.
- I have tried very hard to fix my unhappiness over multiple years. I am hopeful I will fix this in the upcoming years, but I can't promise it.
- (Based on previous experience, multiple women had an issue with this, it is possible you are different.)
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria
Note
- If you match even half of the below criteria, you should consider yourself a good fit, atleast in theory. I don't have a very deep understanding of my own preferences so this list is low confidence guesses.
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria, based on previous experiences with dating
- You are highly independent yourself, or willing to move towards a position where you are eventually highly independent. This includes financially, emotionally, etc. I can help with this ofcourse.
- You also prefer Ask culture not Guess culture.
- I am fairly blunt. I can tone this down if requested, but only to some extent.
- (Based on previous experience, multiple women had an issue with this, it is possible you are different.)
- You are capable of appreciating some aspects of life.
- You are high on Openness to Experience.
- But also you understand I will not always be in for spontaneous plans in my current phase of life, because I have other priorities.
- You have a unique perspective on or appreciation for atleast one important aspect of life, which I currently lack.
- You are in a different profession from the ones I most frequently interact with by default (software/finance).
- You are a simple person.
- You are not asexual or aromantic.
- You actively enjoy regular sex as part of a relationship.
- You are capable of experiencing love as an emotion distinct from sexual attraction.
- I am fine with it if you are attractive to me but not like, extremely attractive.
- I think this tends to matters less once you fall in love. I do have a preference for more attractive women, but I am unlikely to reject someone just because they're not in the top 25 percentile of conventional beauty standards, for example.
Nice-to-have but not mandatory criteria, based on my guesses about the future and/or only loosely related previous experiences
- You want kids at some point
- I don't have a strong opinion on this topic yet, but my weak opinion is I want kids some years later.
- If you want kids with me, you should be atheist so we don't conflict over how to raise the kid.
- Why I want kids
- I find being around kids fun for limited constrained interaction but sometimes annoying in larger doses.
- Weak opinion based on empirical evidence is that most (but not all) people who have kids don't counterfactually regret having them, and it gives them joy/meaning in life. I defer to views of people like Naval Ravikant and Paul Graham and Eliezer Yudkowsky here, atleast a little bit.
- Why I probably don't want kids right now (i.e. in 2026)
- I can prioritise neither money nor time to raise kids right now due to my other life priority (listed at the top of this document). I might be able to prioritise this some years later (assuming the world doesn't end by then). If you are willing to provide over 80% of the money and time required for parenting, maybe I am not fully opposed to having kids now itself, but if you are expecting closer to a 50-50 split, then I will most likely be postponing this task for some years later.
- Also, a few years later there will be more clarity on what the world plans to do about artificial superintelligence and human genetic engineering, which tells whether the kid will be murdered in their childhood or not, and whether they will be genetically edited or not.
- Why I want you to be atheist if we have kids
- I have been exposed to multiple personal experiences that went poorly due to differences of traditional religion within family. I think trying to raise kids across a religious difference is playing life on Hard Mode, and I am not convinced I have the skills to pull it off.
- You have atleast one long-term goal in life that you are actually serious about. You value delayed gratification.
- My guess is I am capable of accepting people from a wide variety of worldviews, even if I vehemently disagree with them. I am okay with significant political disagreement.
- That being said, I will find it easiest to accept and understand you if you have a life goal in the first place, and if your life goal has significant overlap with mine. (Mentioned at the top of this document.)
- I could find it a bit harder to understand or accept you if the only goal you care about is maximising sexual experience or consuming a lot of substances or climbing job ladder or purchasing a house or raising kids.
- If you regularly consume substances, we may have to meet less frequently, as I would like to stay sober. Ideally you don't regularly consume substances.
- Ideally you have growth mindset, not purely complacence/acceptance mindset. If your problems are affecting me, I am more likely to expect you to put effort towards fixing them, and have growth mindset about it.
Criteria I don't use when filtering people
Criteria I don't use, based on previous experiences
- I am fine with a difference in socioeconomic class or level of education (as long as you are intellectually curious).
- I am fine with you having different lifestyle or spending habits from me.
- I am fine with you having different hobbies.
- I am fine with you not being good at giving me advice. I can get that from other sources.
- I am fine with you not being particularly skilled at providing emotional support, i.e. making me feel seen/heard/understood. It is the thought that counts.
Criteria I don't use, based on my guesses about the future and/or only loosely related previous experiences
- I am fine with you having physical or mental health issues.
- I prefer people with growth mindset here.
- I am fine with moderate differences in political opinion.
- I am fine with a large age gap in either direction (within legal limits).
- I don't care how many past or current partners you have.
- As mentioned above, I would prefer you have a long-term goal in life that isn't maximising sexual experience. I would prefer you are capable of experiencing love as an emotion, distinct from sexual attraction. Given that you match these, my guess is I don't care how many past or current partners you have.
Some more messy notes that may or may not be relevant
Note
- Here is a list of messy older notes I made during 2026-02 to 2026-06. I was mostly unhappy during this timeframe, and some of the notes maybe be overly theoretical or neurotic. Yet, I think they have non-zero useful insight so I am linking them here regardless.
List of messy notes
- navigating value differences in relationaships
- polyamory
- why do people value me
- who is my ideal partner
Contact me
Please reach out if you are interested.
Referral system
Please also reach out if you can connect me to someone who might be interested. (For instance, you can send them this post.)
- If you connect me to the right person, you will be doing me a huge favour, and I will make sure to repay the favour in whatever way you prefer. This could a favour in return, or a payment, or similar.
- In particular, if you want to be paid, I can pay you $3000 for connecting me to someone I stay in a relationship with for atleast 5 years, and $600 for connecting me to someone I stay in a relationship with for atleast 1 year.
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