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2026-09-12

Maybe think more about the Truth and the history books, and think less about the deaths of either you or your enemies

Disclaimer

• personal
• target audience - strictly myself

Main

• In my giant ass manifesto doc "I am looking for cofounder", I basically listed the following types of motivations:
  • "Kill or be killed" - I want to feast on the blood of my enemies
  • "Reminding myself of my own death" - I don't want to die. I don't want everyone I meet, everyone I visualise, everyone I see, etc to die
  • "The Truth will endure" - I believe in the Enlightenment project. I want the truth to endure over the centuries even though The People Are Retarded.
  • "I want to be in the history books" - I want to matter after I die. I want my work to be remembered.
• I think also I claimed that "kill or be killed" might be the strongest motivation out of all of these.
• However, attention looped on a core motivation can go either way. Either you can reach a state of acceptance, or you can become even more discomforted.
  • If I loop myself on "kill or be killed", I seem to become even more enraged at my enemies, and even more resentful and enraged at the world for not joining me in this battle against my enemies.
  • If I loop myself on "reminding myself of my own death", it just tells me everything besides waging war is a waste of time, and I start to emotionally disconnect and disengage from everything and everyone else.
  • Maybe I should loop myself more on "The Truth will endure." The People Are Retarded ofcourse, but it helps to remember that something will outlast all this. There do in fact exist a few people who don't suck, and they will in fact preserve the truths that are most worth preserving.
  • Maybe I should loop myself more on "I want to be in the history books." Maybe I should try to inspire myself more with other people who are in the history books.
• Examples
  • Timothy May is in the history books and I will honour him by building on his legacy. Julian Assange is in the history books and I will honour him by building on his legacy. I J Good is in the history books. John von Neumann is in the history books. Heck, even Einstein wrote about human coordination for technologically advanced future and even he is in the history books. Isaac Newton is in the history books. I am still impressed reading the principia lol.
  • Maybe I should collect more of the writings of these people, and pay more attention to them, and their lives. Maybe focussing on this will make me less resentful?

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