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2026-02-10

minor update 2026-07-13

Teach me about feminism

Disclaimer

• Quick Note
• target audience - literally all women
• trigger warning - rape

Main

• Both in the past, and more recently, I have had conversations with various women about feminism and women's safety. Multiple times I have been accused of not understanding this topic well enough.
  • In atleast one conversation, I ended up significantly agreeing with them by the end. There was important info about this topic that I benefitted from learning.
  • In atleast one conversation, I ended up completely disagreeing with them by the end.
• Overall this entire thing has just left me confused.
• Therefore, I want people to send me resources on this that could help me.
  • A lot of women don't actually like sending online resources on this, or sitting and having extended discussions on this. Atleast, some of the women I've spoken to are like this, and I'm guessing this is very common. I find this completely reasonable. Having political discussions across a large divide can be painful, and takes time. I have first-hand experiences of my own on this.
  • Hence I thought I should put this up here, so that if anyone is willing to send resources, they can do so.
• What I will find most useful personally
  • I am definitely interested in ensuring I don't personally threaten safety or freedom of women I interact with. I think I am doing more-or-less fine on this front. (There's one caveat I can't discuss here.) I am open to more info, however.
  • I am atleast somewhat interested in actively preventing other people from threatening safety or freedom of women, if we are in some shared context (irl or online) and it will be easy for me to stop them. I currently don't think I am very good at this, and would benefit from more info that would help me get better at this.
    • If it would be difficult to go and stop them (in terms of time, money, etc that I'll have to invest), I will have to decide on a case-by-case basis. If you personally are dealing with a threat like this, maybe you should tell me so that I can help you, but also maybe someone else who is not me is way better suited to help you.
  • I am probably not that interested in trying to either understand or solve women's safety as a full-time job. I have other priorities in life.
  • I do straightforwardly think improving women's safety and freedom is one of the most important issues in the world, and I want atleast some people to work on it full-time.
• See also: My views on feminism
  • This is a longer post on my views of various aspects of feminism

Update

I am atleast somewhat interested in actively preventing other people from threatening safety or freedom of women, if we are in some shared context (irl or online) and it will be easy for me to stop them. I currently don't think I am very good at this, and would benefit from more info that would help me get better at this.

• I did spend a bit more time googling this. I can think of basically two practical solutions that would atleast work even a little.
  • I could write a post on which aspects of pick up artistry I endorse versus not endorse, and why. Will do soon.
  • I could be maybe more aggressive than I currently am, in calling out people irl who endorse various ways of manipulating women into having sex with them.

Update (2026-07-12)

• I did not end up writing the post on pickup artistry which I said I would write.
  • Short answer is I don't actually know where the dividing line is. There are some methods that are obviously manipulative and some that are obviously fine, but I don't have deep understanding of all the edge case scenarios.
  • One potential answer: "If the other person is accepting of your methods on reflection, once you reveal your methods later on, then it is fine." But honestly I can see edge case scenarios to this too, where this rule breaks.
• Important - Also I now vaguely suspect that only a minority of women actively make "feminism" a part of their identity, and I might have been reacting to a mind sim of those people, based on recent interactions I had had. Most women care about women safety (duh) but only some make it a thing they full-time think about and/or work on.

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