2026-02-10
TLP seems to agree with some of my framings
Disclaimer
From TLP's post, Don't hate her because she's successful
The most important-- her words-- advice Sandberg has to offer women is... to choose your husband carefully. Think about this for a minute. I've fallen in love with some catastrophes in my life, I've drank a lot of rum, and I'm sure a lot of/all people say the same about me, but how on earth could I choose whom I fell in love with? The heart wants what it wants, even when what it wants is on Prozac. How could I select my love based on my career concerns, or is the logic that my soulless zombie skull would love anyone who agreed to do half the chores? The only person who can pull that off is a psychopath, and sure, you may indeed succeed in life, but at what cost? What are you good for? But the Time Magazine force vector doesn't care about your human happiness, it most certainly doesn't care about your caring about your partner's happiness, it cares about your role as producer, and by producer I mean consumer. Eat up, it will have corn in it.
- This resonated a lot with me. Literally yesterday I wrote a post on this.
- See also: My post on Deliberate status engineering is hard
- Much longer back I've also definitely written about conflicts between wanting to seek power and wanting to preserve your relationships.
- See also: My post on Why no religion
- I actually completely agree with TLP's literal opinion in the post - maybe don't sacrifice your marriage for a General Motors mid level management position. I genuinely have quite poor understanding of what goes on inside a person's mind when they make a decision like this. Are these people getting some actual happiness or value out of it that I (and TLP) are failing to appreciate?
- I basically think that if you're ambitious enough to want to attempt being a billionaire or politician, and you think your ethical standards are higher than the people you're trying to replace, or you think there's some specific problem in society you can solve that they're not already solving, there's a decent chance you're literally correct about this, and you should go for it. This is probably going to fuck up your life atleast a little, in a bunch of different ways, including your relationships. But the trade seems worth it to me.
- Whereas with a middle management job at General Motors, the main things this added power gets you are a bunch of consumerist goods and experiences which maybe won't make you happy, and some marginal extra ability to protect yourself from people who maybe don't really think about you at all.
- I really do want to analyse each of the two judgements I made here, and make sure they're more grounded in reality, rather than just stuff my brain cooked up or projected or simulated or whatever. In general I seem to have a quite poor method of grounding to test psychological hypotheses against.
also
- There are also a few other paras I resonated with. Will get to it later.
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