2026-09-04

# Mainstream society is traumatising

Disclaimer
 - personal
 - target audience - strictly myself

Main
 - Rant post.
 - Yes, I am going to use the T word.
 - It is 4 am now so my sleep schedule is also officially off. This could be another factor for why I am in a generally miserable mood.
 - Living among people who are not making 50 year long plans is very painful.
 - Like, I am unable to find people either for work or for dating or for friendships, everything is because nobody here is actually making 50 year long plans. Unproven hypothesis.
   - Work is obvious. Nobody gives a shit that the world is ending. Even if you could by some miracle brainwash people into believing ASI risk is real, even then they will do nothing about it. They are that herd-like and that trapped and that lacking in imagination. It boggles my mind honestly.
   - Dating wise also ... I do have some private information I can't reveal. But to share the part that is relevant publicly. I think I want to be poly because I am really thinking about the long term. And some other poly people in Bangalore are that way only to have more sex. I don't care about more sex, I care about 50 year long marriages. Do I want to be in a 50 year long marriage, yes. Do I want to only have sex with one person for 50 years, no. Hence I am poly. This is not the reasoning process that other poly people seem to use. They are just like, more sex, okay good. Like, my problem isn't even with hedonism I think. My problem is you are only hedonist and you have nothing else in life and you are making no longterm plans whatsoever.
 - I am in the wrong city lol. **I am fully brainwashed by SF ideologies and now I am only capable of living in SF apparently.**
 - I would quite literally sacrifice a finger or a toe (not an arm, sorry) to live in a community full of thousands of peoplg making actual 50 year long plans like me, who also believed in technological progress like me, who also valued Knowledge/Science and Power/Ruthlessness over Order/Community, Harmony/Acceptance or Freedom/Passion.

Main 2
 - I currently like myself less as a person a little bit, as a result of having practised drums instead of working the last couple of days. These people aren't worth it lol. You will respect yourself less as a person if you try to impress them so hard. This was the original trigger for the rant.
 - **I categorically refuse to join a hobby only because it has a good gender ratio.** This cannot be your only motivator. Go pick the hobby you actually want to learn, and if it has good ratio then good, if not then also chalega. These people are not worth it.
 - Find someone who is attracted to you being you, not you trying to be someone you are not.
 - Like, the key thing is integrity. This is also why I refuse to delete the poly thing from my hinge profile. Obviously I will get more matches if I delete it. But I am like, no, this is important to me. And people can tell lol. People are not that stupid. If you want X but you pretend to want Y, people can tell. I will go after what I actually want and I will not settle for anything less.

Main 3
 - I miss work. I want to get back to work. I will work tomorrow. Floating point errors let's go.