I know this is something like the 4th or 5th "date me" document I have written but a part of me wants to scrap it and rewrite it yet again. Here's why:
You could say this is just neuroticism or anxiety, but I don't actually think this fully explains it.
Great explanations are simple and elegant. The document is below is not elegant. Hence I will work more on it.
I am interested in outlier outcomes in life, and am willing to pour outlier amounts of effort into it, even if some of that goes to waste.
Meme
Broke: Optimise distribution - as in optimise for all the surface-level stuff of how you appear to others
Woke: Optimise product - figure out more core stuff such as your values and so on, such that you become more attractive to others on the market
Bespoke: Reality-distortion field - understand relationships so deeply that you can persuade lots of other people that they'd want to become the person you want them to be, even if currently there are zero people on the market for you.
Note 2
Note to self - This is a skill issue on my part and I should probably try to fix this soon. Maybe I should go pay for some surveys or interview some women over this. Need practical data, not theoretical data. Trust revealed preferences not stated preferences, because people lie a lot on this topic for status-related reasons.
Note 3
As of 2026-06, I have deliberately chosen not to do more theory on this. Either actually meet people, or do surveys, or both, and report results here. Prefer the X Y format when writing more on this topic.
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