2026-05-05
How to escape the control of Indian parents
Disclaimer
- Quick Note
- target audience - people who want to escape parental control
- I am biased by Indian environment in this post, this doesn't apply to every environment
- I have not spent a lot of time on this post. Don't take advice from internet strangers on a topic as important as this, unless you've really thought it through.
Main
- This has been a post I have been hesitating to write for a long time. Why?
- Parental control is one of the biggest problems in India.
- Lots of people in previous generation are parents and hold positions of political power. The political pressure to not publicly talk about this topic in India is staggering.
- I fully expect an intergenerational culture war to exist in India in the next 10 years once current children become adults, assuming the human race exists 10 years from now. See South Korea for an example of what an intergenerational culture war looks like.
- A lot of western authors online know jack shit about this topic, including therapists.
- Even now, I don't think I will write a long post, for safety reasons.
- The short answer is this.
- It would be nice if you had money and political connections (since child rights are non-existent in India) and a social circle that would defend you. In practice, there's a significant chance you have none of these things.
- When you have nothing to protect you, the only thing that can protect you is willpower. Decide in advance that you are literally willing to commit suicide (or murder) or go to prison, than be controlled by your parents. Go all-in.
- This has to be a commitment you really believe and not a bluff. Some parents are very manipulative and will successfully call out your bluff, if it is a bluff.
- Some rare parents are violent enough that will pursue conflict with you anyway.
- They are genuinely fine with you committing suicide or going to prison.
- But most parents are not like this, and will fold when you demonstrate this level of willpower. Most parents care about their children atleast a little, and care about their image in society atleast a little. If you commit suicide or go to prison, this also hurts their image in society.
- If you don't have this level of willpower, you may have to build it up over time.
- Spend some time away from your parents with some excuse, to compare and contrast how this is, versus living with them. If you haven't lived apart for any time duration at all, you probably have genuinely no idea what living apart from them is like.
- Figure out what you actually care most about in life (very hard challenge). Figure out if your parents are actually accepting of this, and if not, how badly it hurts you to not fulfill what you care most about in life.
- It is possible that being under the control of your parents feels only mildly bad but not extremely bad.
- In this case, I don't have some magic insights for you.
- Plenty of people waste away their entire lives in situations that are mildly bad but not extremely bad, and you are welcome to join their ranks.
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