I have met people so beautiful on the inside that I am worried if I spend time with them, I might destroy the thing that made me like them in the first place.
I am worried that if I stopped to truly understand what makes them the way they are, I would need to cry about it for atleast six months and I don't have six months right now, I have a mission. Holy fuck am I mad about that.
What am so I mad about?
Some people who live in small towns are among the happiest people I have ever met.
I am not saying it is impossible to meet happy people in cities. But cities tend to homogenise the texture of one's soul in a way that's hard to understand until you meet someone not like that.
What kind of fucked up life am I living right now?
What other mysteries of the universe are this close within my sight yet this far out of my reach?
I love people. Why do I hate people so much?
I wish all our technology wasn't in service of a meat grinder for human personality.
I sometimes joke that Genghis Khan wiped out 8% of human population, but the internet decimated more of human culture than Genghis Khan did. Well this is the human cost of that. I don't want to entirely blame the internet right now honestly. Urbanisation is a phenomena way older than the internet.
[Deleted some part for privacy reasons]
I miss my old life dearly.
2
I wish we could build monuments for people. Not for what they did, but for who they were when no one was watching. Only then do you understand what someone is truly like.
Possibly the biggest achievement of human civilisation is the diversity of human personality we have managed to support. Not the roads, not the skyscrapers, not the coal engines, not the whatever. The people. I am worried most people don't understand this and I am worried even I don't understand this.
This is sad. I want to understand.
3
How incredibly violent a person am I that I am given access to the internet and my first thought is on how to break apart the relationships halfway across the planet.
Words are weapons of mass destruction.
Morality is the ultimate weapon.
I don't actually think humans have made all that much moral progress since the dark ages. When the chips are down, these people will eat each other. They will rape, torture and pillage each other, just as the did in the olden days. Stable use of violence is the only way to keep our current world.
Why don't these fuckers get it?
If you mess up the development of artificial superintelligence, and we need to engage in a mass movement to stop this, this is not just the end of ASI, this is the end of a way of building the world itself. A pattern of existence.
If technological progress is halted in San Francisco, it is halted everywhere, and if it is halted everywhere, these people will fucking eat each other. The zero-sum violence will fractally eat everything and ripple everywhere.
During the dark ages, it was actually a good thing that a peasant could not just become an aristocrat. If they could, the ensuing violence would have been a sight to behold. When the pot of resources is not growing, a stable static distribution is often the best you can hope for. Everything else is endless violence to decide who gets more of the pot.
(Disclaimer - I'm not 100% sure the above is factually true, in case someone is reading this. I am sharing feelings here, not making defensible object-level claims.)
This entire world could descend into madness if you fuck this up.
[Deleted some parts because religious references]
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